forty
on my fortieth birthday
you screamed at me to kill myself
you later told me that you had meant
to give me the extreme alternative and really give me
that
perspective
at the moment, i reflected that i felt horrified that you were saying this to me
but it must have been dead much longer
my japanese love
the relics of our great love exist
and real tears bejewel this struggle
you are so beautiful to me
and it puzzles me
but i have to accept this
after everything else you draw out of me
you still expect cute curtseys
and i have to accept this
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