empty

i am an empty person.  there is nothing inside of me.  i merely take up space in this world.  my cat is very nice to me, and i smoke and will probably masturbate and then nap and then maybe make myself go outside.  it has been tempting to just imagine dying and leaving but i do not know how to turn the switch off from hoping that maybe i can be something useful and kind and good.  i know that there is a beautiful person inside of me, and i know very much that i want to open myself and be loved and love.